Finding Your Way Back to Kindness: How Horses Can Heal the Wounded Heart
Hello, can I ask you a question?
How often do you find yourself in a silent battle with your own mind? That inner voice that’s quick to point out a mistake, to replay a painful memory, or to whisper that you’re not good enough. For those of us living with the weight of anxiety or the lingering shadows of trauma (PTSD), this inner critic can be relentless, chipping away at our sense of worth and making self-compassion feel like an impossible dream. As a former mounted policewoman I too have lived experience of how these feelings manifest in our day to day lives.
We are told to “be kind to yourself,” but when your nervous system is on high alert, or your past feels more present than your future, that advice can feel hollow and hard to even begin to follow. What if the path to quieting that inner critic and finding a gentler way of being wasn’t found in talking alone, but in a quiet paddock, in the company of a wise and gentle teacher—a horse?
Welcome to the profound, transformative world of Equine Assisted Therapy, a journey where the simple, honest presence of a horse can help us find the compassion for ourselves that we so desperately need.
What really is self compassion?
Before we explore how horses can help you, let’s remember what we’re aiming for. True self-compassion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook; it’s about treating yourself with the same care you would offer to a dear friend. It involves three key elements:
- Self-Kindness: Offering yourself warmth and understanding when you’re suffering, failing, or feeling inadequate, rather than judging and criticising yourself.
- Common Humanity: Recognising that suffering and personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience – something we all go through rather than being something that happens to “me” alone.
- Mindfulness: Taking a balanced approach to our negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. We simply observe our thoughts and feelings as they are, without judgment.
Before we explore how horses can help you, let’s remember what we’re aiming for. True self-compassion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook; it’s about treating yourself with the same care you would offer to a dear friend. It involves three key elements:
The healing power of a horse’s presence
When you step into a space with a horse, they don’t care about your job or history, your past mistakes, or the story you tell yourself. They respond only to what is happening in that present moment—your heart rate, your muscle tension, your breath. They mirror your internal state with complete honesty and without a shred of judgment.
For someone with anxiety, a horse may become watchful and hesitant. For someone holding deep grief, a horse may draw close and offer a quiet, steady presence. This immediate, authentic feedback creates a powerful opportunity to see yourself in a new light.
How sessions with Kelly and her horses can help calm your mind
In Equine Assisted Mental Health Therapy, the focus isn’t on riding, but on the relationship with the horse. Through groundwork activities like grooming, leading, or simply sharing space with my horses, profound healing can occur.
- Soothing Anxiety and PTSD: The hypervigilance that comes with your trauma and anxiety can be exhausting. A horse’s calm, regulated nervous system has a contagious effect, helping to soothe your own. The simple act of stroking a horse’s neck can lower blood pressure and release oxytocin, the “connection” hormone. Working with a large animal requires you to be grounded and present in your body, pulling you out of anxious thought loops and back into the here-and-now. Rebuilding trust with me and one of my horses can be a transformative step in learning to trust yourself and the world again.
- Cultivating Self-Compassion and Kindness: Your inner critic doesn’t exist in the paddock. A horse will not judge you for having a difficult day or for feeling scared. And I realise that if you are not used to being around horses they can be scary at first. But their acceptance is unconditional. As you learn to communicate with them by using gentle cues, patience, and clear boundaries, you are actively practicing the very skills you need to apply to yourself. You learn to be patient, to listen to subtle signs, and to respond with kindness instead of force. This external practice of compassion naturally begins to turn inward, softening the harsh inner critic.
The journey inward, guided by a gentle giant
Imagine standing in a field, maybe the sun warms your skin. A horse approaches you softly, lowers its head, and breathes a warm breath against your hand. In that moment, there is no past and no future. There is only connection, acceptance, and peace. This is not just a pleasant experience; it’s a therapeutic one. It’s your nervous system learning what safety and connection feel like, perhaps for the first time in a long time.
Learning to be kind to yourself is a journey. When that path feels blocked by anxiety or trauma, sometimes we need a different kind of guide. A guide that doesn’t use words, but instead offers a mirror to our soul and a safe space to find our own strength and gentleness.
A path forward with a different kind of healing – a session with Kelly
If you feel like you’ve tried everything to quiet your anxiety, heal from your past, or challenge that relentless inner critic, I would like you to consider a different path. Join me on a path that leads to a paddock, to a gentle herd, and back to yourself. Working alongside my horses in a safe, therapeutic setting can create powerful shifts that traditional therapy sometimes cannot reach. If you’re ready to explore how Equine Assisted Mental Health Therapy can help you navigate the challenges of PTSD and anxiety and cultivate a deep, lasting sense of self-compassion, I’m here to guide you. Please use the links below to book a session with me and the horses. A new way of being is possible.
Reach out to learn more about how equine-assisted mental health therapy can help you find your way back to a life with purpose.
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