Using Equine Therapy to Navigate the Silly Season - finding calm admidst the Christmas Chaos
For many of you, the slide into December brings a sparkle of anticipation – Christmas lights start to be seen, carols play in the shops and the promise of reunions. But for those living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, or deep grief, the run-up to Christmas doesn’t always feel like “the most wonderful time of the year.” It can feel like a sensory minefield, a marathon of emotional endurance, and a stark spotlight on who and what is missing.
I understand that healing isn’t linear and that the festive season can often derail the progress you work so hard to maintain. It is vital to acknowledge that your feelings this season are valid. You are not a “Scrooge” for feeling overwhelmed; you are a human being navigating a complex nervous system in a high-pressure environment.
The Hidden Pressures of the Holidays
The expectation to be “merry and bright” can be a heavy burden to carry if your internal world feels dark or chaotic. For some of you suffering from anxiety or PTSD, the festive environment creates a perfect storm of triggers.
The Crush of the Crowd
Christmas shopping, work parties, and family gatherings often involve larger groups of people. For a nervous system stuck in hypervigilance—common in PTSD—crowds are not just annoying; they are a threat. The noise, the unpredictability of movement, and the lack of personal space can trigger your fight-or-flight response, leaving you exhausted before the event has even truly begun.
The Mask of Happiness
Perhaps one of the most exhausting aspects of Christmas is the “performance.” There is a societal demand to smile, to be grateful, and to exude joy. When you are battling internal turmoil, having to wear this mask of happiness is draining. It creates a dissonance between how you feel and how you act, which can lead to feelings of isolation and shame.
Being Away from Sanctuary
Traveling for the holidays often means leaving your “safe zone.” Your home is your fortress—where you control the locks, the noise levels, and the routine. Sleeping in a strange bed, adhering to someone else’s schedule, and losing access to your usual coping mechanisms can leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable.
The Empty Chair: Grief at Christmas
Christmas is a powerful marker of time. It highlights the passage of years, and consequently, the absence of those who are no longer with us.
Remembering lost family, friends, and colleagues can be particularly sharp during this season. The empty chair at the dinner table or the silence where a specific laugh used to be can trigger a resurgence of acute grief. For those with PTSD related to the loss of a loved one or a colleague, the holidays can bring back flashbacks or intrusive memories.
It is a time when the past intrudes heavily upon the present, making it difficult to stay grounded in the “now.”
5 Solutions to reclaim Your Peace
If you are dreading the weeks ahead, know that you have options. You are not powerless against the tide of the season. Here are five strategies to help you manage anxiety and stress, allowing you to navigate Christmas on your own terms.
1. The Strategic Withdrawal (The Quiet Walk)
When the noise of a family gathering just becomes too much for you, or the heat of the kitchen becomes suffocating, give yourself permission to physically remove yourself from the situation. This isn’t rude; it’s necessity.
Step outside for a quiet walk. Nature is a natural regulator. When I am with my horses I can see every day how the fresh air of the Illawarra and the rustle of trees can lower my heart rate. Use this walk not just to escape, but to reset. Notice the temperature of the air on your skin, the sound of birds, or the texture of the ground beneath your feet. Ten minutes of walking can burn off the adrenaline spikes caused by social anxiety, allowing you to return to the group feeling more centered. You could also take your shoes off and connect with the ground for a deeper connection.
2. Biological Reset: Breathing Exercises
When anxiety hits, your breath becomes shallow, signalling to your brain that you are in danger. You can “hack” this system by consciously changing your breathing pattern.
Try the Box Breathing technique, useful to stay calm in a crisis:
- Inhale through your nose for a count of 4.
- Hold that breath for a count of 4.
- Exhale through your mouth for a count of 4.
- Hold the empty lungs for a count of 4.
Do this for just two minutes. It forces your parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” mode) to kick in, physically lowering your cortisol levels. You can do this anywhere—in the bathroom, in the car, or even at the dinner table—and no one needs to know.
3. The Power of "No"
Boundaries are the greatest gift you can give yourself this Christmas. There is often immense pressure to say “yes” to every invitation, every Secret Santa, and every drive to a distant relative’s house.
Remind yourself: An invitation is a request, not a summons. If a specific event feels like it will compromise your mental health, you are allowed to decline. You do not need to offer a complex excuse (which anxiety often urges us to do). A simple, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I won’t be able to make it this year,” is a complete sentence. Protecting your energy is not selfish; it ensures that for the events you do attend, you are actually present and able to cope.
4. Co-Regulation with Animals (The "Rooster" Effect)
As an Equine Assisted Mental Health Practitioner, I cannot overstate the power of animals in managing PTSD. Animals offer non-judgmental support; they do not require you to “perform” happiness or make small talk.
If you are at a gathering with a family pet, spend time with them. Stroking a dog or cat releases oxytocin and reduces cortisol. If you are feeling overwhelmed, excuse yourself to “go say hi to the dog.”
This is the core of the work I do here with my horses, like the gentle giant Rooster, who is an expert at “holding space” for people. Animals model hyper-presence—they are not worrying about next Christmas or regretting the last one; they are just here. Aligning yourself with their energy can act as a powerful anchor when you feel yourself drifting into panic.
5. The "Safe Exit" Strategy
Anxiety often stems from a feeling of being trapped. Being stuck at a party where you’ve had a drink and can’t drive, or relying on a partner who wants to stay late, can make you feel claustrophobic.
Create an exit strategy before you leave your house.
- Drive yourself: This gives you the autonomy to leave the second you feel your limit approaching.
- Time-boxing: Commit to an event for a specific time (e.g., “I will stay for two hours”). Knowing there is a finish line makes the endurance easier.
- The Code Word: If you are with a partner or trusted friend, agree on a subtle signal or code word that means, “I am at capacity, and I need to leave now, no questions asked.”
Be Gentle with Yourself
You have survived 100% of your bad days so far. You have the tools to get through this season, too.
Stay safe, set your boundaries, and breathe. Ask for help;
If you are struggling significantly, consider booking a session with us before the holiday rush peaks to build up your emotional reserves.
If you are finding the lead-up to Christmas difficult and feel you need support, please reach out to me. Whether it’s a riding lesson to get your body moving or an Equine Assisted Therapy session to help process your anxiety, I am here to support you.
If this day is hard for you, you are not alone, and you do not have to navigate this journey by yourself. Honour your own service by taking care of your own well-being.
To book a session, contact me or call 0452 337 322 and together we help you enjoy this time of year.